JackiOh

Somehow, this has happened:

February 9th, 2011

D and I are the most normal people in my family.

Granted, there aren\’t many of us left. It\’s just me & D and my mom and bro. I\’ve lost all my grandparents, any aunts or uncles that I knew and two dads.

Well, I knew I never had anything to worry about in the normalcy category with my mom. Growing up, she pushed me into things that weren\’t even on my radar way too early. Then, when I had a child of my own, she had five year old D smuggle a suitcase full of alcohol across the border for her while on a cruise. No more solo vacations for them. Truly, this is just a tiny, tiny taste of all the nuttiness that is my mom.

My brother goes through spells of normal-ish and, way on the opposite of the spectrum, batshit crazy. I was under the impression that he was settled in a period of relative normalcy, working hard and being a decent, if not good, father to his daughter.

Yeah, that was blown out of water this week.

He\’s in jail. Again.

It\’s not the first time. He has been arrested before, more than once, for things like trespassing, possession of cannabis, conspiracy to traffic in cannabis. All of his cases have ended up being dropped or \”adjudication withheld.\” He has never been convicted.

I am 100% for second chances. You screw up one time, learn your lesson and your life doesn\’t get too terribly fucked up? Excellent. You got lucky. Learn from it and don\’t repeat your mistakes again.

I am also 100% for people, addicts, whatever, getting the help they need.

My brother has gone through rehab no less than three times.

Last Friday he was arrested for possession of cocaine. Did I mention he had heart problems? Or that our dad died all out-of-the-blue-like from a heart attack? Or that he has a four year old daughter?

I want to grab his crazy ass and shake him. I have tried getting involved before and helping and supporting him in any way I could, but I just don\’t think I have it in me to do it again.

The good news is that it looks like my mom isn\’t buying his way out. Maybe he will actually learn a lesson this time.

Tags: basically, family, sucks

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An Education

January 22nd, 2011

D is growing up. With this growing up, I feel I should teach her important things about life. You know, like, healthy eating, the truth about boys, but, most importantly, the art of watching good movies.

Last summer, I took her on an 80\’s movie journey of epic proportions. We started with The Breakfast Club, made stops at Pretty in Pink, The Karate Kid, Gotcha! and ended on NYE with Say Anything and St. Elmo\’s Fire. Some of the movies she hated surprised me. For example, after one viewing, she wanted nothing to do with Sixteen Candles ever again. Not that it was anywhere near one of my favorite movies, but D likes romance-y, girly stuff so I figured it\’d be right up her alley.

We still have about a buhzillion more 80\’s movies to watch, but she wanted a break, so I had to come up with something else for the new year …and fast.

Well, it\’s my favorite holiday season. Awards season. I used to make it my goal to see all the movies nominated for major awards before the Academy Awards. This seems like a perfect year to reinstate that.

We actually started this goal this past summer by going to see The Social Network. She loved it. She also fell a bit in love with Jesse Eisenberg. Then we watched Inception. She was confused as hell, but seemed to somewhat dig it.

Then, earlier this year, I dragged her to go see True Grit. Quickly followed by The King\’s Speech. She had no clue what she was getting into with either of these movies, but left them both texting her friends to tell them to go see these \”amazing\” movies.

I have a bit of a thing for lists, so after each movie I made her list her favorites. I am surprised, still, at what her favorite of them all was:

$\"\"$ She decided to give me a taste of my own medicine and give me a movie education too. One Sunday morning, she sat me down and forced me to watch a movie I previously had no interest in seeing whatsoever.

$\"\"$ I freaking loved it. She\’s learning well, I think.

Tags: 80's, Academy Awards, Awesome, Cheesy, D, Jason Schwarzmann is awesome, Lists, movies, Oscars, Scott Pilgrim

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Stuff Like That There

January 1st, 2011

Last night was New Year\’s Eve. I spent it in a pretty chill manner, watching 80\’s movies with D and toasting with Key Lime Cream Soda. Mmm. mmm.

After we watched Anderson and Kathy do the countdown, we searched for something else to watch. D got bored with the channel flipping and went to bed. Well, not to sleep, but to watch, for about the 17th time since she got it for Christmas, Rent! Live on Broadway.

Then…

I stumbled upon an Oh-brand of awesome and yelled for D.

She rushed out of her bedroom and immediately whined, cause she saw this:

$\"Is$ Bette Midler\’s \”The Showgirl Must Go On.\”

D humoured me for a few minutes and then left me all alone to relive my own Bette concert memories.

A few songs/skits in, I peeked behind me.

D was standing there, enraptured.

\”She\’s a BEAST,\” she said.

(apparently, to the teenage set, being a beast is a good thing.)

And, dood, Bette totally is a beast. She is 65 years old and still gets up on stage like this:

$\"of$ Beastly.

So, needless to say, D watched the rest of the show with me. She laughed, sang along, showed amazement and awe and has decided on a new career path.

She wants to be one of Bette Midler\’s Harlettes.

Who am I to stand in her way?

Tags: Beast, Bette, D, Harlettes, movies, NYE

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The Wet Look is In.

February 4th, 2010

Today I came home to something WAY scary.

As I came around the curve to my house, there were fire trucks and police cars and ambulances and news vans.

$\"\"$

I saw this and my heart almost stopped. It skipped two beats at least. Too many things ran through my mind. I had just talked to D less than an hour ago, who knows what could have happened between then and now. Well, my imagination knew and none of it was good.

Luckily, there are, like, a billion short cut roads, so I just took one and went around the drama. But while I did that, I broke my number one driving rule and pulled out my cell phone to call D. I mean, I had to make sure she was okay, right?

She answered and was fine and I told her to meet me outside in thirty seconds. Two seconds after I pulled up, Medders pulled into the driveway. We all stood in the driveway, kinda peeking around the bend to try to figure out what was going on.

Our next door neighbor came bustling out, full of news and information. Apparently one of our across the street neighbors houses went up in flames. He said it took only fifteen minutes for the almost the entire thing to get ruined.

Ack. Ack. Ack.

So sad for the neighbors, but so glad it wasn\’t us.

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Paging Mrs. Lolliwoo

January 28th, 2010

I did not make all the right choices.

My best friend ever from when I was growing up said something to me the other day that really made me stop and think.

\”You and I grew apart b/c you made all the right choices and I made all the wrong choices.\”

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We made different choices, certainly, but I don\’t think that either of us were right or wrong. There are plenty of things that I have done that were not right at all.

Regardless, I am sure that he is right that it was the choices we made were those that helped us to grow apart. While I wouldn\’t change any of the choices that I made, I would like to still be close with my BFF.

We started out as trumpet rivals. My mom has a \”legendary\” story that she likes to tell everyone about the first time I cursed. It was the day that we played our scales and a certain piece of music to determine our chair rankings in band. Yes, I know, I was a geek.

On all the other days, I easily beat my friend, we will call him Biggie. But! On that day, he was victorious. I was MAD. I was so mad, that when I got home, I threw open the door, dropped my trumpet case and exclaimed, \”That damn Biggie BEAT ME!!\”

Then I picked up my trumpet and went up to my room to practice until I was confident that this wouldn\’t happen again.

This friendship lasted through a lot of stuff. Middle school, high school, love, coming out of the closet, birth, death, everything that makes a good movie.

But all good movies have an end and this one came soon after my family moved to Florida. Biggie came to visit me one time, but after that we kinda drifted. It wasn\’t anyone\’s fault, it just happened.

Enter facebook.

One of the things I was looking forward to most when I joined facebook was finding Biggie. I have been on facebook for about three years now, with no luck. In December, he finally found me! YAY!

So, while it is not exactly like we picked up where we left off, at least I know he is ok and maybe we won\’t lose each other again.

Tags: choices, facebook, friends, lost touch, trumpet

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Be Italian

January 21st, 2010

I have a new girl crush.

And the odd thing about this girl crush? It is someone I vehemently hated before.

But then this weekend, I saw Nine. And I fell in love or lust or something.

On the other hand, I am embarassed with my big new girl crush. I mean, it\’s FERGIE.

But look at this:

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I knew she could sing, but her dancing! Uh-may-zing. One of the single best song and dance of awesomeness numbers I have ever seen in a movie musical. I wanted to be in Nine, just so I could play the part of Fergie as Saraghina.

Apparently, she put on, like, 17 pounds for this movie. And they all went to the right places.

Look!

$\"\"$

So, that is my confession this week. I have a girl crush on Fergie. Even if she did pee on herself a few years ago.

Tags: Black Eyed Peas, dance, Fergie, girl crush, movies, musicals, nine

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Log In

January 16th, 2010

Lost Password

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Goofy Goober

January 14th, 2010

This dry weather is KILLING me.

I don\’t mind the cold so much. I get to wear cute sweaters and …pants. Okay, I hate wearing pants, but my sweaters are cute and warm, oh so warm. They would be cue with a skirt, though! HMm, I should get some tights. Not danci tights but thick winter-y worki ones.

But about this dry weather. Yeah, I don\’t like it. It makes my voice sound like the third verse of that \”Ain\’t Got No Home\” song by Clarence Frogman Jones. You know it, the one where he sings normal first and then all high and then, by the last verse, he is all scratchy, like a frog. That\’s me, the third verse, the frog.

And not only content to be frog like, my body has rebelled further in this dry weather to make me Spongebob-like. Not happy, cavorting under-the-sea Sponge-bob, but scary on-land kitchen-Spongebob.

$\"\"$

I feel like my eyes are going to pop out of my head!! They are so dry and horrible looking, I am embarrassed to walk around. I find myself sneaking into the bathroom, just to put warm compresses over my arid eyes. It only helps temporarily.

Oddly, I don\’t remember EVER have these problems before. What makes this cold snap different? Global Warming? Is this what Florida is like when it\’s cold?

Whatever it is, make it stop and let me wear skirts again.

Tags: cold, dry, eyes, skirts, spongebob, tights

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Pancakes… pancakes, Marty.

January 7th, 2010

I smell like pancakes. Well, not pancakes exactly, but the delicious pure maple syrup that goes on top. I am not weirded out or surprised by it. I planned it that way.

$\"My$

See? I heard about this stuff called Fenugreek on the radio one day. Supposedly this radio chick was taking it and she didn\’t need to use deodorant anymore, cause she naturally smelled like brown sugar or maple syrup or yummy or whatever. Then I heard about it the next day and the day after that and then another day.

I was intrigued, but not intrigued enough to actually go out and buy some. So, I did what I do with anything I am mildly curious about and I googled it. Ok, well, it turns out that this stuff is mainly used to aid in lactation for breastfeeding mothers. I am a mother, but seeing as D is 14, I no longer breastfeed.

Then I read that Fenugreek also has one billion other positive health benefits, like lowering cholesterol and keeping blood sugar levels down and other positive lady-y stuff.

So one day I happened to have a doctor hanging out at my house and I asked him about it. He only knew about the lactating thing, but said if it was safe for new moms it would be safe for me, so go ahead and try it! Granted, this doctor smokes electric cigarettes in ridiculous amounts, but still goes outside and smokes old fashioned ones. So, not the healthiest of doctors.

Whatever, he was a doctor, so I took his advice and went to my local hippie store to buy some Fenugreek. I started taking it about two weeks ago and didn\’t notice anything immediately.

THEN! Dance started back up and I sweated for the first time in weeks. Damned if I didn\’t smell like pancakes.

I think I\’ll keep wearing deodorant for now though.

Tags: hippie, pancakes, sweat, sweet

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